Beanstalk Certified

Beanstalk and Some Other SEO’s Unite in Call for The Internet Marketers Code of Ethics

Initial Organizational Meeting to be held somewhere on the Internet.

Victoria, BC, Canada, October 23, 2014 – We are making every effort to make sure our brothers and sisters are appropriately corralled into an enforceable Internet Marketing code of ethics for North America. The Galactic Senate and Corporeal Association of Marketers (GSCAM) joined by any other marketers who want to have an opinion are calling all delegates to participate in our first ever “Internet Marketers Code of Ethics Congress”. During this congress all participating delegates will master debate what codes shall be enforced.

The Internet Marketers Code of Ethics Congress shall take place at a time and date to be determined in 2015 if we get around to it. In the meantime we’ll be taking suggestions on possible additions to our proposed ethical guidelines.  Currently there is only one guideline as will be discussed below.

In order to take part as a  delegate in the “Internet Marketers Code of Ethics Congress”, you must be nominated by GSCAM, be Beanstalk certified or be a member of a qualifying organization. These organizations may include among others: self-help gurus, D&D Wizards and the Ferengi Dabo Club of America.

GSCAM Members Have Only Voting Delegates

Listed below are requirements for Beanstalk certified people that can nominate a delegate to attend this function. Each lucky person that fits one-or-more of the criteria in the list below can nominate and participate in the “Internet Marketers Code of Ethics Congress” in 2015

  • People with opinions
  • People that can run at least 15 meters
  • People that have more than one computer monitor
  • People that order , “Tea, Earl Grey, Hot.”
  • People who are bored

Any group member that does not meet the requirements or is not Beanstalk Certified may send representatives to the “Internet Marketers Code of Ethics Congress” but will forfeit their voting rights.

Your resistance is futile and by accepting an ethical standard in the Internet Marketing industry (either voluntarily or under duress) you help ensure a fair advantage for any member of GSCAM. We can’t do this alone we will need every member to recognize that they have no choice in this matter and that they must become Beanstalk Certified in order to feel special.

GSCAM Code Of Ethics

As mentioned above, there is currently a single code outlined by GSCAM and which must apply to an Internet marketer’s service for them to display the illustrious Beanstalk Certification seal on their sites.  This code is:

  1. Clients shall be made aware of the risk level involved with all marketing activities.

Why So Simple?

If you’re wondering why there is currently only one ethic in the list it’s for a few reasons.  They are:

  • This is a complex and ever-changing industry and the only ethic that truly exists is being honest with your client about what you’re doing, why and what risks might be involved with your tactics.  We’re not here to judge what you do or enforce Google’s Guidelines – they have an army of Pandas and Penguins to do that.
  • Why make things more complicated than they need to be?
  • We have work to do for those clients that pay us so we thought, better to spend our time doing that because, you know, that’s ethical.


GSCAM is an acronym that stands for Galactic Senate and Corporeal Association of Marketers. GSCAM is a not for profit organization. We don’t really know who we are or what we currently stand for but this was a fun press release to write so we’ll probably do another.

GSCAM represents trillions of professionals across 100 known universes. They care about things and often play with monkeys.  They are wizards, Orks and some take long walks in the rain while drinking pina coladas. Their intentions are to maintain Beanstalk certification and pay a small nominal fee, or not … either/or.

Joining GSCAM

Joining GSCAM is easy.  Simply enter a comment below with why you’d like to join and any suggestions for ethics you feel should be added.

That’s it … and if you want to be a pro member (it gets you absolutely nothing)  you can subscribe for $5/mth given to Dana Lookadoo to aid in the recovery from her accident.  Again, it’ll give you nothing through us (nor should it) but it’ll make you feel good and is ethical.  You can do so using the following link:



If you feel you can comply with the ethical code listed above, you’re welcome to use either of the following seals (you can link them or not, you can nofollow them or not … we’re not here to tell you what to do):

 For White Hats:

Beanstalk certified white hat Internet Marketer.

For Black Hats:

Beanstalk certified black hat Internet Marketer.


GSCAM Contact Information:
Mork (from Ork)



GSCAM is a fictitious organization. Names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual groups, current or past, or actual events is purely coincidental.

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